4 months later...

Four long months have passed since my last post and I am so happy to see that the internet has not swallowed up my blog! Still here, familiar as an old friend, the same pictures and thoughts that inspired me all those months ago still making my heart sing.

I have been living life very differently since my last post. The knee injury has mostly healed up now, but it will be a long wait for surgery so I will have to be constrained for the time being, no running around like a maniac bubbling with energy and lust for life. Work has been harder to find than Wheres Bloody Wally and his stupid walking stick! I have always been the girl who can't sit still, the girl who has to be constantly working and improving. Unemployed has always been a gross word to me, made even worse by lack of choice, like a victim of circumstance my life has brought me here. While not entirely true, this is 80% choice, it certainly feels that way at times.

I have been considering the idea of self recognition and identity being tied to certain things; jobs, apartments, image, life direction. In many ways I hardly know myself anymore, except I am exactly the same person, with the same positivity, drive and passion for life. It doesn't matter so much what you do, despite the world conditioning us to attach our identity to a title, a position or a role. Sometimes no matter what we hope for or who we create ourselves to be, we are dealt a circumstance that renders us foreign to ourselves and every notion we had of "who we are".

What I'm wearing...

Slayer singlet made from an old tee



Sheep collar leather jacket.



A million miles away...

I have been far, far away in a land of emails, phone calls, budgets, wages, profits, losses and office politics for about 4 months. I moved house, moved cities and found myself in a job insanely demanding and soul destroying. I moved on from an unhappy relationship and I stumbled across a new one, literally, in Pitt Street Mall while at a conference for said soul destroying job. Sometimes luck strikes on unknown streets, at unlikely times. I lived for the weekends and tried with all my might to contain my flighty, free spirit into a box for a company that did not reflect my values. I kept at it, learned a lot and re-discovered my independence.

I hurt my knee a week ago and have had a quiet restful couple of days back at mums place. The universe has given me too  much time to ponder on life. A friend told me the right knee symbolizes life direction. She is possibly a genius, potentially a fortune teller, or just plain knows me really well, because the direction of my life has suddenly changed completely.

Big corporate greed tried to pull me with it's tides but my integrity kept on knocking on the door inside my heart. I quit. Bang, see ya later. I never could bite my tongue, I will always shout out, pay out, run out, when things do not feel right in my heart. It seems the little rebel inside me still enjoys making a song and dance when my integrity is at stake and my happiness is under threat. Probably, I will never grow out of that.

I want to contribute to more than a CEO's obscene bank balance. I miss sweet summer afternoons when the phone doesn't ring and I feel free, if only for a few hours. Cheers to running away and chasing what is right, cheers to my family for being such a crazy mix of intelligent, unique, hilarious individuals and reminding me what is important in life. Cheers to starting over, no matter what age and how many times, it is never too late.

Freedom from the limits of fear...

Hotels, motels, inspections, paper work, coffees, room service, exploring, dreaming, crying, buzzing, scared, thirsty, tired. I miss home.

My first impressions of Newcastle range from good to bad to amazing to bizarre. I adore the old buildings, the charm, the new meets old, the lack of pretense but I'm confused about the empty spaces and vacant lots, the lack of trees and the abandoned factories turned dwellings. I'm unsure about the weather. I'm not loving the style. I am enjoying the simplicity. I'm sold on the coast line.

My new life, I feel a great future expanding in front of me like the endless ocean at my door step. Holly shit, I think I'm really divinely happy!

New York Fashion Week best collections...

J. Mendel's collection for Spring RTW 2012 

Michael Kor's collection was at the other end of the scale, with deep natural shades and tribal detailing. 

Leaving on a jet plane...

...ok leaving in my car, not quite as glamorous as a big jet plane. Moving day has arrived and I'm setting off in the morning for the long drive down south. I have clothes stuffed in bags and old magazines stacked on the back seat, little pieces of home scattered around me. Part of me is thrilled that I can still fit my life's possessions into a car boot, but part of me sees only my lack of gumption and propensity to flightiness?

I'm scared, but I've made my decision. I'm going, going, gone, to somewhere new, to be someone and to do something.


Choose Now
Born to refuse,
Me, here, is now.
Now I choose.
To have voice,
To have choice,
To have drive,
To feel alive.
Simplicity, frivolity,
Absurd beats this heart,
Flowing through my veins,
Passion, power, pledge,
Living out on the edge.

Chop a branch,
It will grow longer.
Cage a tiger,
It will grow stronger.

Have choice,
Have voice,
Have now.



One of a kind...

Hope your all having a fabulous and glamorous week and are inspired to try new things. Dare to be whoever you want to be!

 

Fate loves the fearless...

I've been cleaning out my wardrobe and my life in preparation for the big relocation. I'm discovering dozens of forgotten treasures that I adore but never wear, gorgeous pieces that sit in my wardrobe waiting to turn into stories and memories. Too bright, too skimpy, too big, too vintage, too bold, too nana, too edgy; too this or too that for real life. I love them all but most have never accompanied me out into the world, these garments are stuck to their hangers with the super glue of my insecurity.

My goal for the next week is to wear one thing everyday that I have owned for years but have been too afraid to wear. And so my fearless fashion week begins...

There are some women that truly inspire me to bring the crazy into the everyday. Anna Dello Russo, Daphne Guiness, Mary Kate Olsen, Gwen Stefani, Carrie Bradshaw (even if she is a fictional character!).